Rev. Douglas J. House, M.Div.
“Benches are repositories of memories, stories, and lasting legacies.”
My wife and I are dog lovers, and she has even crafted a career as a professional Canine Obedience Instructor. Currently, we have three dogs at home: small, medium and large. It seems that we have always had a dog in our family.
I remember when we got the first one. It was because we had visited our family in Virginia which had a couple of Rottweilers. Each dog weighed over 100 pounds, with each possessing the energy of a locomotive. At that point, our children were young and had never been around dogs. My wife and I came home from our visit, determined to get a dog for our family. We did so. It was a very calm black Flat-coated Retriever which proved to be the polar opposite of the 100+ pound Rottweilers, both in energy as well as in demeanor. His name was Brett, and he was a wonderful 1st dog for us. We knew little about dog obedience, but we learned about dogs from him. He was so gentle and calm that I would take him with me to visit certain shut-ins as I did my parish rounds. He would lay on the floor next to me and would always calmly greet those whom we visited.
One of the hardest things about having a dog is that they don’t live forever. As is true when we lose a loved one, losing a dog leaves a void in our lives. And as is true of any loss, we have to maneuver through a grief process which can take a while for us to complete. One of the ways that can help us move through the loss of a pet can be by doing something positive and creative.
At the facility where my wife works, Paws ‘N Effect Canine Training Center, a quick glance around the premises will show a couple of benches for people to enjoy. These benches have not been placed by accident. They are in memory of beloved dogs who once filled people’s lives with love but now have crossed the Rainbow Bridge. These benches serve a number of functions. They keep us connected in a special way with those who have gone on, as they truly represent “repositories of memories, stories, and lasting legacies”.
“Love is what makes two people sit in the middle of a bench when there is plenty of room at both ends.” – Anonymous
Recently, my wife and I were enjoying dinner at an outdoor restaurant on the Guilford Green. In front of us and just a tad to the left was a park bench facing the street. While we sat there enjoying the evening, I began to notice how the bench was being used and by whom. I saw a woman with a walker rest on the bench for just a few minutes and then move on. She kept waving at passing cars. There were a couple of men who sat on the bench for a good few minutes before getting up and continuing their journey. For a while, the bench remained empty. Then a couple parked there. They were young, perhaps just beginning their life’s journey together. And whereas others who occupied the bench sat with some distance between them, the young couple sat together in the middle. As the quote above reminds us, people can sit together differently on benches, but benches can serve the same purpose of helping us to remain connected.
There are stories in everything. I’ve gotten some of my best yarns from park benches… – O’Henry
A phrase I have heard many times in many different contexts is, “If only these walls could talk.” I believe that benches, like walls, can tell stories; stories about relationships, hardships, joys, and overburdened people simply taking time to rest for a few moments. One of the things that benches cause us to do is to stop and take a breath. Whatever there may be that burdens us, whatever challenges of life we harbor, benches remain in the same place for our use…to offer us rest.
I remember once hearing the story of a woman who, following the death of her husband, walked to the same park bench every Wednesday for 30 years. She would sit there for an hour, rain or shine, simply to reflect on the blessings and challenges of her life. It was her way of getting away from things, if only for an hour. It was scheduled time in her life every week. While there, she looked out upon the green fields which lined the park, offering a bucolic view which would carry her spirit to the next Wednesday. While sitting there, she would think about her husband; they had often sat there together over the years. Somehow sitting on the bench helped her feel closer to him.
So often when I write these blogs, I seem to emphasize the importance of remembering. Park benches offer us that opportunity. Not just to remember the current events of our time, but they also challenge us to dig deeper. They are way stations, planted for us to remember those who have touched our lives. We remember the people who have been important to us, and the ways that they helped to color our existence. Park benches can tell stories if we pause to listen. So, I invite you to find a bench to rest on for a few moments, or for as long as you want. And just perhaps you might remember a story from your past or even leave a story behind for someone else.
