April 27, 1924 ~ December 10, 2012
The Honorable Anthony 'Tony' V. DeMayo, 88, of East Haven died on December 10, 2012 at his home in East Haven surrounded by his family. Tony will be greatly missed by his loving wife of 61 years, Eileen Healy DeMayo. He was born in New Haven on April 27, 1924 to the late William S. and Aida Di Rocco DeMayo, Sr. Besides his wife, Tony leaves his two daughters, Elizabeth DeMayo of New York City & Catherine DeMayo and her husband Ian McGregor of Sydney, Australia; grandchildren, Marilena & Andrew DeMayo of Sydney, Australia and Sophia & Anthony DeMayo Schwab of New York City; brother, William S. DeMayo, Jr of New Haven. After graduating from West Haven High School, class of '41, Tony served in the US Army in India during WWII. In 1948 he graduated from Yale University with his B.A. before attending the University Of Connecticut School Of Law, and graduated in 1951. Tony's graduation marked the beginning of a long and prestigious career in law. He was admitted to the Connecticut Bar, and to practice before the U.S. District Court, the 2nd Circuit Court of Appeals, and the U.S. Supreme Court and practiced privately until 1977. From 1966 to 1981 he was Public Defender in New Haven County. He brought to the position a fierce belief in quality legal services for the poor and accused. Defender DeMayo did not shirk the hard cases and did not wilt under public criticism. By becoming the President of the Connecticut Women's Education and Legal Fund, before equality of treatment for women lawyers became a given in Connecticut, Attorney DeMayo helped pave the way for women to become fully fledged members of the Connecticut legal team. In 1981 Tony was appointed to the Superior Court, where whatever the assignment, he judged with distinction. He never stopped believing in fundamental fairness and that a legal system is best judged by how it serves its least popular, least affluent and least powerful. To say Tony was an active member of his profession is an understatement. Just a few of his accomplishments were Past President of the Connecticut Bar Association, New Haven Junior Bar Association, University of Connecticut Law School Alumni Association and Law School Foundation, Lecturer in Law at the University of New Haven, and a member of the Board of Governors of the Connecticut Bar Association. Tony also felt volunteering his time in the community where he worked and lived was important. He was involved with the Foxon Recreation League, Past President of Family Services of New Haven, member of New Haven Philatelic Society, former New Haven Chairman and State Vice- President of the Kidney Foundation, past board member of the New Haven Community Council and Regional Mental Health Planning Council, president of the East Haven Historical Society, involved with East Haven Lions Club, the founder of East Haven Kid's Stamp Club, former parish trustee and council member of the Church of St. Vincent De Paul, and former member of the East Haven Planning and Zoning Commission. Judge DeMayo didn't just practice law, he was passionate about it. Since he graduated from law school, there had not been a week, during which he had not worked ceaselessly to insure justice for all. He judged each and every case that came before him, with intelligence, knowledge, compassion, and often, when appropriate, great wit. Friends are invited to visit with Tony's family on Thursday, December 13th at BEECHER & BENNETT- TAYLOR FUNERAL HOME, 410 Campbell Ave, West Haven from 5:00 to 8:00 P.M. His Funeral Service will take place on Friday at the funeral home at 12:30 P.M. followed by a burial in St. Lawrence Cemetery.
Dear Aunt Eileen, Kate, and Liz — Please know our arms are wrapped around you, holding you and all your family, as you remember and celebrate Uncle Nat’s life. The dinners in your home, swimming in your pool, and Uncle Nat’s intellect, humor, and graciousness will forever be engraved in our memory and our hearts. We are grieving with you and our hearts are heavy with sorrow upon receiving word of Uncle Nat’s passing. We are so glad that Brent/Daddy can be with you to share in the service for Uncle Nat. With all the love in our hearts — Nicole (Healy), Ryan, & Addison Elizabeth Sundve, Jeremy Healy, and Karen Healy
Eileen, Liz and Catherine, Our Hearts are Heavy in New Haven. I am sorry for your loss. I am blessed to have known and worked with Judge DeMayo.
I am so very sorry for your loss. I remember Judge DeMayo well. He was one of the first Judges I ever worked with and have the fondest meemories. A kind and gentle man who was a pleasure to work with. I will keep you in my prayers. Lori Warchol
I am sorry for your loss, never had the opportunity to know Judge DeMayo, but in reading his obituary I realize He was a great person. I strongly believe that if a person can help improve the life of another human being, the life of that person was well lived. In that respect, I believe that Judge DeMayo more than merits to be remembered as person whose life was very well worth it and one to be honored.
I did not know Judge DeMayo personally but I appeared before him many times in Superior Court. He was always thoughtful, well prepared and patient with the lawyers and the parties. An outstanding judge.
I first met Tony when I started dating an associate in his law firm. He had such a great sense of humor and always had a funny story to tell. I worked at a New Haven law firm and while at the courthouse,I would stop by to see him when he became a judge. One day, out of the blue, he took the time out of his busy day to give me a full tour of the courthouse and I’ll always remember that. Tony was definitely one of a kind. My deepest sympathy to his family. We were all truly blessed to have known him.
I had the good fortune of being assigned as a court reporter to Judge Tony DeMayo’s courtroom many years ago. Judge DeMayo became a lifetime mentor and friend. Both professionally and personally, he was a prince. Tony was a go-to guy who always had time for you, a straight-shooter who told it like it is and delivered the news with warmth, humor and affection. I had tremendous respect for him and I am deeply saddened by the loss of his passing. He has touched so many lives for the better. My deepest condolences to Eileen and family.
I met Judge DeMayo while I was working part time at the Hagaman Library. He and his wife, Eileen, have given so much of themselves to the library and the community. It’s been an honor to know them both. My sympathy to the entire DeMayo family.
Judge DeMayo has meant so much to the Foxon Recreation League, my family and me personally that I cannot express my gratitude enough. I had the privilege of serving with him on the EH School Building Committee and what stands out most is his integrity and good humor. I will miss him dearly, and opening day at THE PIT will never seem the same. God bless you, Your Honor.
Judge DeMayo was such a treasure to all of us at Hagaman Library. We will miss him more than words can express and feel so very privileged to have known him and worked with him. Love and deepest sympathies to Eileen and the family.
Judge Demayo was truly a treasure. There are very few individuals who touch so many people in so many walks of life.He is truly irreplaceable.I will miss him.
On December 10th 2012, the world lost a special man. Judge DeMayo was a wonderful giving man that always had a smile on his face. A Judge and WWII Vet we had so much respect for him. My boys that belonged to his Stamp Club enjoyed spending time with him and learning everything that he would share. We are truly heart broken that he is gone, but we are honored that we were blessed to have meet him. We send our thoughts and prayers to his beautiful wife and to his family.
Our thoughts and prayers go out to the De Mayo family. I had the honor to work with the Judge on the East Haven School building committee and Foxon Rec. League. I found him to be a man of great integrity who will be missed by many. Stan Seliga and family
We are so sorry to hear of the loss of Tony, our dear family friend and provider of joyous Christmas Eves for so many years. We wish we could be there, and will miss him greatly.
I first met Judge DeMayo when serving on the CWEALF Board. I later became an Attorney and appeared before him several times. He always took the time to do what was right and just, sometimes at great inconvenience to himself. He went out of his way to be kind to me during a difficult time in my personal life and I will always be grateful to him for that. He was a very special person.
I just learned of Judge De Mayo’s passing. I have a very special place in my heart for him. When I first was admitted to the CT bar and appeared before him, he took me under his wing and became a significant mentor. During the years, we enjoyed talking about Australia where my sister in law and her family live and talking about his visits with his daughter and her family, especially that it was not sad to be so far away because when he went, he stayed for an extended time. And this meant that he actually had more time and more quality time with his daughter and her family than if they were in the States and visited a few times a year. His laughter and winning smile made everyone happy. I hope that knowing how much everyone loved him will ease your sorrow somewhat.
I met Tony through the 4th Sunday Stamp Show in New Haven almost four years ago. I stood out to him as one the youngest collectors at the show. He was always happy to see me. I will miss him terribly. My heart goes out to his family in their time of sorrow.
I was executive director of CWEALF when Tony was the president of the Board. He had a serious commitment to women’s legal rights and was proud to have hired the first woman public defender, Ellen Lubell. He often said .In my profession of law there is nothing men can do that women cannot also do.. I am so grateful for the support and help that Tony (later Judge) DeMayo offered us.
I wish to extend my condolences to Judge DeMayo’s wife and family. I knew him through his community service, especially as a friend to Hagaman Library. He lived a full and purpose-driven life, selfless in his career and volunteer activities. The world is less bright on his leaving it. My thoughts and prayers are with those he left behind.
My deepest condolences to the family members of Judge DeMayo. I first met Tony while awaiting the bar results in 1973 and he put me to work in the Public Defender’s office and was in reality my first legal mentor. I had the great privledge to have learned how to be a lawyer from one of the finest gentlemen to have ever practiced in this area.I also had the good fortune to appear before him on numerous occasions and knew in advance that he would make a thoughtful (although not always correct) decision. He will be sorely missed by all of us who he touchead over the years.
Tony never sought accolades, but his services to the stamp club were immense. He will be missed by us all at the New Haven Philatelic Society. Julie and I were honored and privileged to have Tony officiate at our wedding ceremony. Our deepest condolences to Eileen and family.
Dear Eileen, Cathy, and Liz: I am so sorry for your loss. We go way back to Cathy in school with Donna, my daughter, and Liz I believe friendly with Toni, and your husband and father friendly with my first husband Al. Eileen, you and I would meet up in IGA and talk to catch up. Now everyone is grown and off on their own but I never forget your family and when I drive by your winding road I always think of all of you. Judge DeMayo was a very important man but was always down to earth. He will be missed. My thoughts and prayers are with you all in the months to come. Most sincerely, Jean
I only learned of Judge DeMayos passing a few hours ago. Tomorrow it will be 43 years since my own father Ed passed away, and I will always remember the kindness shown by Judge DeMayo and the DeMayo family to my mother Dorothy and to me then. My husband Haagen and I send our sincere condolences to Eileen, Liz and Cathy.
I just heard today of Mr DeMayo’s passing. He was a remarkable man and deeply influence the love of learning I only really developed later in life. My condolences to his wonderful family. I think of you all often. You were a second home to me in high school.
Just saw this and worked/knew him in the 70’s when I worked to get suspended sentences in lieu of a stipulation to an area 18 month residential drug tx program, then based on Daytop Village, NYC/Synanon Model. Tony was a true professional who consistantly treated those in his courtroom firmly, respectfully & appropriately. He was the true silver lining in those early days of challenging work. Therefore, you will never be forgotten. Rest in Peace. Sincerely, Darlene Chulak, LMFT